Love has conditions?
by Ave-Three
Summary: Spamano! Romano has to sleep with the bad touch trio if he ever plans to have a serious relationship with Spain.
1. Chapter 1

"Spain,you are hugging me to tightly." At night, in bed he always grabs me and to tell you the truth: I do not see why it fucking necessary. It could be that I do not let him kiss me in public but that is because not everyone needs to know that we are dating. Spain may be comfortable with his sexuality but I sure as hell am not. I guess... once... I can give in to his affection. I feel spain's arms wrap around me and lock when they meet each other. I turn over to face spain.

"There is the face that I have come to love so much!" Spain said to me in that damned cheery voice.

Why is he happy all the time? Does he have no fucking worries? I hate that bastard so much.

To prove that I hate him, I kiss him on the cheek and turnback around to face the wall again.

"Oh Roma, Boss is hurt." Spain says.

I roll my eyes; not like he could me do that.

" I am hurt right here."

I turn around to see where is talking about and his finger is pointing at his heart.

"Kiss it better?" he asks with his puppy eyes.

"Hell no. I don't want to kiss your muscular pecs." Shit, is he going think that I was complimenting him?

"Does Romano like Boss's pecs? You can see more if you like."

I frown immediately at that offer. Nope. Nope. Nope.

"Why did I even bother turning around?"

"Because you were worried about my newly obtained injury." he said.

"Like hell I was! I was just looking to see where you complaining about."

"Why don't you just turn around and go to sleep, Romano?"

"Fine! I will! Goodnight!"

Spain stops me from turning around by grabbing onto my shoulder. He then kisses my forehead.

"Goodnight, Lovino." he immediately turns around and I am just left to look at his backside.

His shoulders are quite nice I think to I lower my gaze inch by inch until I reach where the bed sheets start. I smile knowing that beneath those thin sheets, is his fine fucking ass that I do not dare touch. Goddamnit.

This make you no better than Spain you know; him and his fag touch trio. I really do not like them. Spain is the most bearable of that awful bunch. I think they are what fuels his perverted tendencies. Prussia teaches him what to say and when to say it, France shows him how to act upon it, I guess that would make Spain persistance and passion. I wonder if they ever had a three way. Oh god! Romano! What the fuck is going through your mind! Stop that kind of thinking. You know that they have! No one can talk that openly about their dick to each other and not have had sex. Yes, they have hot, steamy sex. I am nothing in comparision for Spain considering he could have France. I sighed and finally turned over to slip into a lucid dream. Heheh, this may be good tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I do not have a computer and that is why I do not update that often. More of I do not have the internet. I felt weird writing this.

"Mmmm...ah...fuck." I has just woke to the sound of Spain's alarm clock. Spain believed that a good work ethic meant getting up at 7:00 in the morning. Hell no! Prostitutes probably do not wake up until noon and they are some of the hardest workers I know. To insure that I get up he puts the alarm clock all the way on the other side of the room, hides it, and sets it on non-stop beeping. So even if I do not get my ass up and get it, it will keep ringing. I stood up to find that damned thing.

"Nope, not there.. or there" But I heard it... from Spain's side of the room. I walked over and as I got closer and closer it seemed to be coming from his dresser. I opened the first drawer to find the alarm staring at me. I took the clock and calmy turned it off and set it on top of the dresser. Spain is not going to piss me off today. I was going to close the drawer, I swear I was. It was just that: that drawer was Spain's underwear drawer. I opened the drawer all the way to see his collection of undergarments. Hm... Spain is fucking strange; why the hell does he have thongs? Man thongs. I knew that he said that his boxers were bothersome so I thought he would going commando, which I thought was fucking sexy. But thongs? I guess boxers were just to airy for him. I picked up the thong with his native flag on it. It looked... small. God, I am such a fucking weirdo but I lifted them to my nose to smell.

I thought that sniffing underwear was just something that you would do something in highschool but... it was actually pleasant. They smelled of outside; the warm sun, the soap that was used, and the potpourri Spain must of had somewhere in his drawer. Spain has enough pairs of underwear, so what if I take one for myself? I threw the underwear onto my side of the room to pick up later. In the very corner, I could see a wrapper. I know he does not eat candy so secretively. I picked it up and saw that.. it was a condom. Why in the holy fuck was there a condom in Spain's drawer!? We don't use them.. because for some reason Spain refuses to have sex with me. So.. who's dick were these going on? After I told myself I would not get mad at him today too! I nicely put the condom in its dark, little corner. I calmly shut the drawer and strolled over to wear I had thrown Spain's underwear.

I bent down a bit to pick them up. It was way to fucking early to be up. Spain was not even in the same room with me and he was still pissing me off. Time to go back to bed. I crawled back into bed with my face hitting the pillow. For a minute I just enjoyed the softness of my pillow until I remembered: Spain's underwear. I brought the underwear up to my face and inhaled deeply. The scent had reminded me of what my dream was about last night; yep, the sheets were a little wet. Fuck, Spain better fuck me soon or get used to washing all these sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Look at me not writing for a month! Terrible Anon. Blame school not me! From this point on I am going to switch points of view. 1st person is so hard to do!

"I am hungry," I said to Spain. Spain had gone to the market to go and by some food for dinner tonight. Spain was setting all the groceries onto the table.

"Make yourself something to eat!" Spain told me. Jeez, why is he in a bad mood? No reason for Mr. Thing to be in a bad mood.

"Eh, I am not that hungry anymore," I huffed. I walked over to where Spain was and threw my arms around him. "So what are we having for dinner tonight?" I asked.

"You do the math! Tomatoes in the garden plus the noodles right here equals…." He was pretending to be a teacher. I hate when he does this. I just want a straight fucking answer! We both can't be hormonal teenagers!

"….Pasta," I "guessed". Spain started to walk over to the kitchen forcing me to let go of him.

What the hell is the matter with him? I strolled over to the couch and threw myself on it. Sighing out loud to give the atmosphere the extra amount of attitude it needed. I am fucking tired now. Spain has not even been home for that long. I turned up so that my face was not in the pillow and flipped onto my back. My arms folded across my chest and my eyes focused on the ceiling. The ceiling always had these little… How do I say... doodles in it? It is pretty inspirational. That is fucking right I get my inspiration from my ceiling.

"Romano, will you go outside and get me eight tomatoes, por favor?" he requested.

"Sure, I guess so." I headed outside to go and pick that bitchy bastard eight tomatoes.

Romano, goddamit, why do you need to be so investigative? Is it because you don't trust me? Romano had gone through my drawers. ALL my drawers. He saw everything that was there which ruined everything I had planned. I had been planning for so long. He did not even bother to do anything for our anniversary. Probably forgot about it. I don't really think he cares enough. A little to carefree. I angrily sifted the noodles into the boiling pot of water. Causing a few to miss the pot entirely. I threw the little stragglers into the pot taking the last one for my mouth. I set the stove to simmer so that I can have a little bit of time to do other things. The day was already gone. And nighttime was here. All I had done today was for Romano to make sure that he had a memorable night. But he just made it more difficult. I wanted to tell him that he ruined his own evening but that would just make him go off into a fit. I took a look at the clock: 6:39pm. I did not know I had spent all that time at the market. Heh, I guess he has a little bit of a reason to be mad. Romano slid the screen door behind him with more than eight tomatoes in his shirt. Doesn't he realize how hard it is to iron shirts? And to wash sheets? Yeah…. His side of the sheets were becoming much messier these days. And more frequently too.

"he wants my bodeh," I sang to my self while sliding my hands down to my hips.

"What did you say, Boss?" Romano asked. Boss? Did Romano serious just say boss? Why is he being such a kiss ass all of a sudden?

"Nada! Just singing~" I sang out. The burner on the stove hissed as water dripped onto it. Pasta part is done! Now, just time to make the tomato sauce! Not that hard really, just some basil, oregano and a VERY special ingredient. I dropped the "special ingredient" into the sauce and stirred waiting another 6 minutes for it to be done. I stopped stirring and brought the spoon to my mouth to check for flavour. So yummy~

"Romano! Would you like to taste what Boss made?" I yelled so he could hear me over the TV.

"You know damn well it tastes good! Why do I need to taste it?!" He yelled back.

I think that Boss thing wasn't to kiss ass anymore just a slip of the tongue. He got up anyways, took the spoon from my hand, dipped it into the sauce and slurped.

"What do you think?"

" It's… pretty good."

"Is that a compliment?"

"No way! I could make it better!"

"Not without my tomatoes!"

"Bullshit! I don't need your tomatoes!"

Romano set the spoon down onto the counter and stormed of into the couch again.

"Romano! Come back! The pasta is done!"

Heh, he came back all huffy and puffy and sat down at the table. I turned off the lights and brought two candles out from underneath the sink. I lit them and threw the match into the garbage. Both of the bowls of pasta were steaming and warm the basil had aged and the oregano filling the air. Some of parsley leaves still were unmixed. My nose was having an orgasm. I chuckled to myself and set the bowl of pasta in front of Romano. Leaving one for myself. Romano was polite! Or at least was capable of being polite I know that I taught him to be. He waited for me to sit down and become situated. I looked up and saw Romano had not begun eating.

"well, aren't you going to taste it?" I asked.

Romano rolled his eyes and brought a forkful to his mouth. That was no way to eat! Or not a good way to eat! He chewed loudly and became more relaxed as he chewed more and more. I swallowed and went in for another bite. I began eating too wondering when the he was going to get to the secret ingredient. I heard coughing and choking. I think he got the bite with the secret ingredient in it. I rushed over to his side of the table and kneeled down to hit his back to make sure he did not die from choking. The coughing subsided and I could hear the ingredient in his mouth he spit it up into his hand, covered in tomato sauce.

"Spain was the hell is this?"

"I made the pasta with love tonight Lovino." I laughed heartily.

"Lovino Vargas, will you marry me?"


	4. Chapter 4

In front of me was a man that was so genuine. He was selfless, considerate, and so loving. How did I ever come to know him? Do I even deserve him? No. That was obvious.

"Lovino, what's wrong?" Spain asked.

"Huh?"

"You are crying mi amor! This is suppose to be the happiest moment of your life!"

"It is! How could I be fucking sad?!"

I am crying? I didn't know the tears had escaped. Damn it. Spain, stop smiling at me. Your smile is as bright as this diamond. God, you are too aesthetic, just TOO perfect. Spain brought his face close to mine and turned it to the side to whisper into my ear,

"What are you thinking about? What do you want to do?"

It is not as easy as yes or no Spain. If I marry you then I am blessed but damned to spend the rest of my life with you. I adore but despise you. I lust for you but do I really need you? Yes. Everything needs its opposite to exist. I move Lovino's face away from my ear to look him in the eyes.

"Yes, si, ja! Whatever the language hell yes!" I smother his lips with my own. I can barely feel his lips they are so soft. More tears are trekking down my face, Spain was right, this is the happiest day of my life. Spain stood up and looked down unto me and ran a finger along my jawline. I caught his finger at the point where the jaw becomes the chin. I kissed his finger and he withdrew it into his own possesion.

"Stand up for a second, Lovino," Spain suggested.

I stood and then was swooped, Spain knew how to dance but I had only heard about his skills. He held me like the woman in the relationship, how fucking degrading. I was suspended by Spain's strength. He brought me and we began to dance to no music, no beat, no rythym, or ryhme. It seemed to be like that all the time...now. I could have had made a ryhme if I wanted to. We shuffled to the side, hands intertwined. I rested my head against his chest and felt the linen of his clothes. He sure knows how to wash clothes. He hasn't said anything about the sheets yet. He should be the woman in this relationship. He knows how to cook too. The house it very dirty though. He doesn't clean at all. Ha, that is suppose to be my job. I suppose if this will be a fair relationship then I should start cleaning a bit more.

I moved my head to his shoulder. I spoke into it, "Spain, you are a Catholic right?" Spain and I were shuffling side to side in small movements.

"Si, aren't you?"

I had to think about that for a bit. Every teen believes there is no God for sometime.

"When it boils down to it, I guess I do,"

"See? We believe the same morals,principles, beliefs! And I taught you my standards... and you lowered them even!"

My head rose up and we stopped dancing.

"What the hell do you mean lowered?"Spain had realised what he said. Hope he doesn't try to take it back.

"Romano... you never... I mean... you always suprised me with your laziness."

"Why don't you be a slave at a young age and have a brother that is preferred more than you are?"

My brother had everything. The women, the arts, the huge genious. Ha, huge genious. Well, at least in the Renaissance era. Did you see some of the painting that came out of his place? I even admit they are stunning.

"You were never a slave! I would never do that to another being! Maybe a sexy maid here and there but never a slave!" Yeah! For a little variety isn't that it Spain?

"Still...Italy..." Stupid fratello...

"Why is everyone having these inferiority problems? Canada feels ignored, you are last to be chosen for anything, and Gilbert feels forgotten."

"Your friends change you, Antonio! Until France mentioned he had a sexy maid you never wanted one now you have been going over there so often!" France had the newest model maids to model all of his fashionable creations. Or to paint the female body nude. Spain mentioned he had wanted one to help me learn how to draw. Bullshit!

"Gilbert and France are ... just horny and lonely. Not so much Gilbert anymore. He has Canada now so they can be forever alone together."

How the hell do you be alone together? Do you live in the same house and never talk to each other?

"I've heard you all talk! Pussy this! Taking it up the ass that. France laughing at everything and asking the most invasive questions. Gilbert laughs, takes a drink of his beer, and he is off harassing another woman or man." Once Gilbert had tried to hook up with his brother even... em, I am actually not sure of what came out of that. Germany seems to be a hardass so it's hard to tell if he even... well pitches or plays that game.

"But he stays with Canada. He never sleeps with anyone. As many stories as he tells and questions he may ask he stay faithful. Sure, its his dangerous flirts that will get him screwed over one day but in the end, does he end up sucking another cock?"

That's not what love is! You are faithful to one person you don't acknowledge other people sexually. Erm, maybe you do... but you don't act on it! Is that something only a overly attached boyfriend would say?

"Sure as fuck seems like it."

"Look at me. Feel right here" He grabbed my hand and I wasn't in the mood for whatever he was planning.

"Spain-I don't want to play this-" Oh, my hand isnt going to your crotch! What a unsuspected suprise.

"It's not sexual, not everything is with me. Do you feel my pulse?"

My forefinger and much used middle finger was against his neck. Feeling his pulse. A systematic bump every second or so.

"Yes, what does that have to do with it?"

"Romano, as long as I live and you are close enough to feel my pulse and hear my breath, I will remain with you. No one else" Doesn't that mean you can still flirt with all those pretty Spanish women? Hm? We know they are so unresistable.

"Won't I end up as another sex story for you to tell to Gilbert and France?" It would be embarassing for them to be discussing my skill level at anything related to sex. I am not a topic to be discussed!

"Because, I have never proposed to anyone." Anyone can propose. Doesn't require alot. A ring plus so called love boom! You got yourself a wedding and hopefully an everlastingn soulmate.S

"Spain! You said you were part of the Catholic church! You aren't suppose to have sex before marriage especially with men!" Aren't you suppose to get excommunicated even? Ha, we are sooo going to hell if this God man is real.

"That's why I asked you to marry me!"

"Why? so that you could just access my vital regions!" Spain definetely wants my regions. So he can take Fratello's too.

"No! I love you! That's just a perk that follows along with being you for the rest of my life." Oh so it's a perk? It's not like you didn't take sex into consideration before hand.

"Or until we get a divorce," Yeah, I am so going to hell. I swear, I am not even allowed to think of divorces in my religion. We would be best of just staying together through the rest of our lives miserable and unhappy hoping we would have a better afterlife.

"The Pope didnt even give the King of England a divorce!" England's protestant though isn't it? I don't pay much attention to him anyway.

We stood in silence. We were distant from each other and I could hear him breathing. Spain never raises his voice. Accept when he is singing. I am sure he could hear mine too. Something had been pestering Spain enough to the point to get him to yell. Had I fucked it up? The only thing that could have possibly made me happy?

"Spain, what is going on?" I try to make the gap between us close by coming back to him. Spain is so grabby... and he loves people. He wouldn't be this far away from anyone even if they had the plague. Even then he would be trying to help them.

"I don't like the idea of sharing." He looked aside.

We share a bed, we share clothes, we share... just about everything. What doesn't he want to share? "You share with me continously"

"Yes, but I don't like sharing you"

Sharing me? I... "I don't like lending myself out either"

"That's a better word than share... borrow..."

I didnt say borrow I said lend! Even then I don't do that! "Borrowing isn't what I do either, Antonio"

"You will have to do it though... for me..."

No. I don't have to do anything for anybody. Unless I want to.

"I don't do threesomes, we know you do."

I know what goes on when they all meet up and he doesn't come home until the next day. Spain walked over to the telephone in the kitchen. Next to the telephone is his contact list.

"What are you doing? Who are you calling?" We are having a fucking in depth conversation here and you need to call someone?! It better be the paramedics.

"France and Gilbert"

I don't do foursomes either. Or is an orgy after there are three people participating?

"Why are you calling them when you and me are having a conversation?!"

They wont be able to save your ass. No matter how much France tries to sweet talk me. He does that way too often.

"Because..." Spain said, "They are going to be your new bosses for a while."

A:N/ Ja, I don't know how to format. Em, Check out my other story Absolute Devotion! England has an eating disorder in that one.. Maybe I will change it to Finland... It was beta anyway. Am I allowed to advertise myself? Of course! It is my story afterall.


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